things i am happy/sad about at the same time

The past couple of months have been a rollercoaster of emotions. At any given moment, I am happy, sad, grateful, angry, thrilled, excited, proud, stressed, and scared. Every feel has a counterfeel. All of the feels. Here is the what I am currently dealing with:

Happy about: Thinking about how I can do anything I want as my next step.

Angry about: I still can’t make a choice (or pull a trigger) on what I should do.


Happy about: I’ve been emailing an editor at a major blog and she wants to set up a meeting.

Angry about: She didn’t respond to my message about availability. It’s been a week.


Angry about: That I still can’t have a normal relationship with my family.

Happy about: That I will always have my brother as my best friend and biggest support system.


Happy about: I’m unemployed and I have so much free time to have fun and to figure out my life and what I really want to do.

Stressed about: Not having any money.


Angry about: None of my summer pants fit me right now.

Happy about: I have consumed whatever food or drink I wanted the past, um, forever.


Happy about:Cute boys interested in me

Angry about: Said cute boys not returning text messages.


Sad about: I feel less close to a lot of friends right now and a lot of friends did not show to my grad party.

Grateful for: My friend Brittany Parker is the most amazing person I’ve ever met and she is always loving, kind, and supportive. She’s also smart and strong af.


Angry about: My emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend finding me on Facebook and sending me a message telling me that he will always hold a special place in his heart for me and if I ever need anything I should reach out to him.

Happy about: My amazing response. See below.


Matt: Quickly: I have two questions and one last thing to get off my chest. 1)Why Songer, Is everything ok w Bill and the Delacy namesake? 2)You know I'm aware when you've viewed my Linkden. Do you actuallly care any more or are you only needing confirmation your doing better than me career-wise, at the moment. I'm 100% over you. Our careers will never engage and there's little to zero chance we ever cross paths again in life. Ever. So I was curious why of all social media sites you chose to view my profile regarding my work life. Let me Give you a big sigh of relief, on the benefit you actually want to see me succeed in life, I'm fine. I'm going back to Chicago in roughly two months with a good opportunity ahead of me, multiple options to work downtown possibly even as a partner. I'm also exploring many other options. As I said our relationship is in the past, lost and gone forever. IF, for any reason in an EMERGENCY I live relatively close and could help in a 911 style situation. Answer: I'm Soo glad your doing well. I deleted your account when you started in Canton. Too close to me and it hurt to see you grow into to women I always knew you would and me not benign around to enjoy you. That hurt. Overall, I Matthew XXXXXXXX will always have a place for you in my heart. I knew you would become successful and I'm glad I didn't get in your way. <Take care Stephanie>

P.s your profile look business professional / cute is fitting. You look serious but pretty and not in that order

You accepted Matthew's request.

Stephanie: Matt, I only had this account to run my company’s social media so I didn’t want to use my real name. Now I’m using it for personal reasons. I’m not sure what you meant by something wrong with my dad or our last name. I looked at your LinkedIn profile once or twice after you requested me. I’m not sure why you would assume that I would look at your profile to make myself feel better. Considering I’ve never been anything but kind and supportive to you during our relationship. And after. That seems like something you might be feeling insecure about and projecting on me. Thank you for your offer but I would never reach out to you for help. One, because I have no idea where you live or how to contact you. Two, because I would never need your help. Three,I’m not sure what help you could offer. Like you said, I am doing well and you did not get in my way, and have thankfully healed from the trauma that was our relationship, unless you’re going to contact me to apologize for the three years of emotional abuse you put me through, please never contact me again. Good luck with your partner job in Chicago. Thanks, Stephanie

Matt: Oh my god cry my a river

Matt: Boo boo

Matt: Emotional abuse get over yourself


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